Dave Schulthise

Dave "Davina" Schulthise is an american drag queen and congressman.

Early Life
Dave was probably born to the coolest bitches ever. They raised a drag queen AND a gay son with an african american husband. THE POWERRRRRRRR

Drag Queen past
Dave dressed as a drag queen every single day in the 80s and early 90s. He called himself "Davina Schulthise". He wore platform heels, approximately 9 inches in height, with gray sparkles coloring the shoe. He has attracted Rodney Linderman many times with his looks resulting in Rodney having reportedly 34 rejected marriage proposals to Dave during that time period. Rodney even dedicated the song Peter Bazooka to Dave's "succulent cooch" to which the record company rejected Rodney's lyrics and decided to change it to Dave's congressman times and when Rodney decided to track down Dave to see him in his drag queen outfit, but they don't talk about drag Dave in the song, trying to make the congressman anonymous.

Congressman era
Dave decided to become a congressman at day and drag queen at the tiddy bar at night. It worked pretty well actually.

Operation the cheese stands alone
Operation the cheese stands alone was Dave's pet project disguised as giving food to the needy, but it was actually a marketing scheme so Dave could sell cheese hats. It went extremely well until Rodney caught on and tried to sexually harass Dave for the idea of the project, to which resulted in Dave abandoning it due to constant nightmares of working on the cheese hats then Rodney pulling up his dress. here are only 4 cheese hats left in the world. The cheese hats sell for 700 thousand dollars on ebay, but please don't sell them. Rodney will just buy them and pick Dave's hairs off of them to add to his collection.

Constant harassment by Rodney Linderman
Rodney Linderman had the fattest crush on Dave dressed in drag. Here are some quotes by Rodney himself "'All I have to do is band my head on the glass, and maybe I can get a piece of that ass'""'Dave without the drag? an ok guy, but Dave in drag can step on my balls.'""'Fuck my wife, I would have already drowned her ass if Dave didn't stop doing drag. Really bad decision that he did to be honest'""'Fuck all women except for Dave in drag.'""'Davina has a succulent dummy thicc nutritious delicious non-stank phat coochie.'""'I jerked off to that'"These remarks scared Dave out of doing drag and moving to a different continent to avoid Rodney Linderman. Rodney said "Hey fuck that" and decided to bomb the fucking country that he was in. Dave now has a restraining order against Rodney, and Rodney cannot go or move into his neighborhood, and if he does he will be imprisoned with no possible chance of parole. Dave only lifted this restraining order for a week in 2003 to film the commentary for Philadelphia in Love. The restraining order went right back up after that week however.

Death
Dave hasn't fucking died you imbecile. Stop saying that.